John Bradshaw’s Panel Remarks
Part 1 - Motives in Pursuing Movements
Part 2 - God Brings Movements
Part 3 - Anticipating a Plentiful Harvest
Part 4 - Open Your Eyes
In Portland, John, Tyler & I were asked to sit on a panel and share our thoughts on several questions that were posed to us.
Here is what John wrote to share on this blog:
What issues of your heart has God talked to you about and brought change to?
Chris went on in his blog to talk in an incredible way about motives of the heart.
Several issues crossed my mind as I thought about this question from Suzie. Several.
I'll share one with you. And it's been a difficult one for me as I feel like every time I have any kind of hold on it, it squirts back out of my hand. It is still very much a work-in-progress.
Control.
The need to be in Control. Of my time. Of my schedule. Of my location. Of my ministry partners. Of my ministry methods. Of my life.
It's really a cousin issue to what Chris talked about, motives.
I hold onto control because I want to (try to) be sure that the situation turns out in MY favor. I hold onto control because if God is in control, then I (ME) may not be comfortable with the methods or the results.
And, ironically, Stan has told us over and over: Control kills movements. It chokes the life out of them.
But here's the cool thing that God is teaching me in those moments where I trust God & release control. It gives me FREEDOM!
One example: Those I coach in the eLife network and elsewhere.
Like most (all?) of you I grew up in the top-down leadership/ministry model. The leader has the (best) answers. And the leader is the one responsible for the success/failure of the group.
If I'm honest, when I first began movement coaching I brought this heart attitude with me. Even though I had the conviction that it didn't/wouldn't work.
It has a lot of baggage with it. For instance, if I'm holding onto control with those I coach, then I'm feeling responsible for their 'success' or 'failure.' That's a lot of pressure! If I'm holding onto control then I feel the need to be constantly available because they 'need me.' More pressure. And if I'm holding onto control I'm frustrated when they don't take my advice or go the direction I thought they should. Dumb.
But, this is where God is teaching me about freedom, if I'm not in control, and God is, then guess what? No more pressure!
AND, not only that (and this is huge), but the bottleneck is gone. When I try to control I'm a bottleneck. Bottlenecks kill movements. Bottlenecks kill discipleship. Jesus released disciples. Peter/Paul/Barnabus/etc released disciples.
Ok, just a couple of more thoughts on what this is looking like 'behind the curtain' in my mind.
How my control self and how my (good) coaching self differ:
Control: In an interaction I’m thinking mostly about ME and most concerned about ME being respected because of my leadership/wisdom.
Coaching: Is genuinely curious about the other person and seeing them grow in Jesus.
Control: Always trying to think of a good response while they are talking. Preferably one that will amaze them.
Coaching: Full attention on them and what they are saying; how they are saying it; what's behind what they are saying.
Control: Always has an answer for their questions.
Coaching: Has very few answers, but (nearly) always more questions that probe deeper.
Control: Most satisfied with the interaction when it ends with ME having the final say and looking wise.
Coaching: Most satisfied with the interaction when I have done/said almost nothing but they have heard from God.
Again, I'm not claiming victory here, it's still very much a work in progress. And yes, I still feel very responsible to be diligent to love and encourage those I coach as well as possible! Hopefully it's more about them & Jesus, and less about my control.
Another question Suzie asked the panel at the eLife meet-up was:
What has God taught you specifically about your disciple-making that has helped you be more effective?
There are many things, but one thing that God has been teaching me really stands out.
But first back to 2016. That's the year that Stan Parks first took myself, Chris and another individual on our team through the 12 week DMM Training.
It was awesome. And terrifying.
And after a while we noticed a strange pattern that developed in our training and our conversations. Sometime in each week's training/convo (and almost always more than once a week), one of us would ask a legitimate question. A legit question. A question that if he really knew his stuff, he should know the answer to.
And he would always answer something like: “What did the passage we read have to say about that?” Or, “What's something you've seen in the Bible that would speak to this?” Or, “Have you prayed and asked God to show you?” Or, “We'll probably cover that in a later lesson.”
It was . . . frustrating.
I began to wonder if Stan really knew any answers. Why won't he answer us? Is he just faking it ‘til he makes it? (Ok, I really didn't think that one. Ok, kind of.)
Stan was wisely teaching us the process of Discovery.
I can honestly say that Discovery has changed my life.
It changes the way I approach lost people. It changes the way I coach. It changes the way I train. It changes the way that I communicate with my wife, kids & friends.
Discovery is a game changer.
We know from the learning pyramid that people who are active learners own what they learn at incredibly higher rates. Discovery = Ownership.
When we think 'Discovery' many of us go to Discovery Bible Study. Game changer. But DBS is just the tip of the iceberg. It, along with Stan, was just the gateway habit for me.
And the key to DBS? 7 simple questions.
Simple. Questions.
For me that's been the key to using discovery in my life. Questions.
Jesus was the master question asker. He rarely gave answers. He asked questions that gave people the opportunity to discover.
That's what I'm striving for . . . Drawing it out.
Proverbs 20:5 says: 'Though good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out. '
I even have a list of questions that I try to go over every morning. Both to have a toolbox of good questions that I can ask in my situations that day.
And to remind myself that I want to help people discover. And own it.
A third question that Suzie asked the panel in Portland was this:
What do you do to strengthen your ability to hear from God, to help yourself hear from Him?
First of all, I have a long way to go here. A long way.
But the discipline that I feel like I have to be most intentional about, or my soul begins to dry out, is having Rhythms of Silence.
I have to fight for it. Actually we all do. 'Our battle is not against flesh and blood . . .'
I'm fairly established at the Christian disciplines of meditating on my Bible. Journaling. Memorizing scripture. At showing up.
I don't know about you but I feel like my whole life fights against these rhythms of silence that draw me back into His presence.
Some of my rhythms to help me hear from Him . . . Like you I have a lot of potential distractions in my life. I find that I need to continually stop and recalibrate my heart & mind.
Daily Rhythms:
The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is kneel by my bed. I try to spend my first couple of minutes listening. “Help me God, I desperately need you today!”
The next thing I do is put on my walking shoes and go for about a 35 minute prayer walk. I don't miss it no matter where I am or what the weather is like - it jump starts me. I can sit in a room & pray by myself but I struggle more with being locked-in. I've found that what works best for me is to be walking, and preferably outside, where I can talk out loud. And listen.
When I get home, I immediately sit down with my Bible and my journal. I read. And listen.
I have different 15-minute prayer segments during the day using 5-5-5. Recently I've started using the first 5 minutes to listen.
I participate in corporate prayer many times a week. This might sound unlike many of the other things, but I find when I'm truly engaged in corporate prayer, that I many times hear from God in unexpected ways. Most of the time through someone else's prayer or through the scripture we're praying into.
I fast one day a week. I struggle with fasting. Fasting helps me listen.
Etc
Monthly Rhythm:
Every month I try to take a full day (or at least half day) to go somewhere 'off the grid' with just my Bible, journal and my listener.
Annual Rhythm:
Annually I take 3-5 days and go somewhere remote and unplug. I fast for at least a day (maybe two) of this and plan nothing. Except to do a lot of Bible reading, listening and praying.
I know that these are simple things.
Simple but not easy.